Little Old Ladies and Other Militants

In a world of no certainty, we can still count on humanity to offer us some stupidity.  Today's stupidity surrounds a little old lady who wanted a kiss, a man so enraged by an expensive burrito he began firing shots, and a woman who poisoned her husband with a milkshake.

First on the list is Helen Staudinger (pictured above), a 92-year-old crazy cat lady woman from Fort McCoy, Florida, who was arrested for aggravated assault with a deadly weapon on Monday, March 21, 2011.  Staudinger reportedly went next door to her neighbor's home and demanded that he give her a smooch before she left.  Her neighbor,Dwight Bettner, told authorities that Staudinger seemed interested in him ever since he moved in six months ago, and he couldn't figure out why.  Bettner politely refused Staudinger's kiss, but that didn't stop the little lady.  She insisted that if Bettner didn't kiss her, their would be dire consequences to pay.  Bettner didn't believe her, but a few minutes later, while on the phone with his father, Bettner began hearing gun shots.  Soon after hearing the first shot, a bullet went through his window, spraying him with glass.  Once the police arrived, Staudinger was taken into custody where she is currently awaiting trial at the end of April.  To read more about this craziness, follow this link:  Refused a Smooch, 92-Year-Old Fires Gun?

Next up, we've got the genius who got so mad at Taco Bell for switching up their prices, he opened fire in an attempt to retaliate.  According to Reuters, an unnamed man ordered food at the Taco Bell drive thru on Sunday, March 20, 2011. When he realized that his favorite menu item, Beefy Crunch Burritos, had risen in price from $.99 each to $1.49, however, he was pretty pissed off, to say the least.  The man brandished a BB gun (really?) and proceeded to fire shots at the employees inside.  Employees quickly called the police, and once aware of police presence, the man retreated into a motel room.  But not before making an even bigger ass of himself, and firing shots with an assault rifle at police cars.  Once safely hidden in his motel room, the suspect refused to surrender, but he was finally arrested when police used tear gas on him.  Although the name of the suspect has yet to be released, police officials told the media that he would be charged with at least three counts of attempted capital murder.  And the poor guy still didn't his munchies.  If you'd like to read more, follow this link:  Taco Rage:  Man Upset at Burrito Price Rise Fires Shots.

Last on the list is Nancy Kissel, an American woman who was found guilty by a jury in Hong Kong for murdering her husband, Robert Kissel.  Back in 2003, Nancy was arrested for feeding her husband a milkshake laced with sedatives and once he was out, she clubbed him to death.  When placed on trial, Nancy pleaded 'not guilty' but was sentenced to life in prison in 2005.  This year, during the retrial, Nancy changed her mind and pleaded guilty to manslaughter.  To no avail, though, because the nine-person jury still found her unanimously guilty of murder.  If you want to see this story in its entirety, follow this link:  Kissel Loses in Hong Kong "Milkshake Murder" Retrial.

A note to the convicts listed above:  I know you guys are probably sitting in your cells, regretting the decisions you've made.  But while you're mulling over your crimes, maybe you won't make the same mistakes next time.  Point of advice, guys, use your brain before making a decision.